Dear Nephew

You grew up in Japan and I grew up in other parts of the world. I grew up in different societies where individualistic self-expression is far more valued than working with others and conforming to what everyone thinks. Nowadays I think the value is shifting in that direction in Japan also.

When I was your age, I felt that Japanese tea, chanoyu, symbolized everything that was suffocating about my Japanese identity. Wearing a kimono made me feel overly feminine, for example. Sharing tea with others under rules seemed silly and in conflict with my individualism, so I tried to stay as far away from these “traditions” as possible.

Now, 30 years later, I know that I was wrong. The Japanese Way of Tea is profound and revealing because it is actually an active exchange of independence and togetherness. Through Tea, I discovered that our true colors appear more clearly when we work with others. It sounds paradoxical but, ultimately, you can’t be a good guest or host in Tea if you’re not creative or individualistic. You have to become part of the sustaining whole, while staying individualistic.

So Thank you for your tea today. I will never forget this day.
I know that you may not be able to continue practicing, being a college student and learning the way of life, on top of all the opportunities and distractions that you encounter.

But you don’t ever have to quit. Go back in whenever you want to. The tearoom is always open to you.

May 2024
Kanazawa Ai